Leaning into challenging conversations with confidence

Melina and Suria at work in Halifax Street

Our work with leaders, as well as ourselves, often centre's on strategies to effectively navigate challenging conversations, introducing our 5I's model as a tool to assist leaders engage in these dialogues productively.

And no matter how prepared we feel going in, I've noticed, and experienced, that internal compass sometimes steering us away from difficult conversations, while at other times urging us to courageously lean in.

This made me wonder if this hesitation is due to the individual, or the relationship climate? I’d like to suggest the latter! When challenging conversations are easy, I've observed a powerful combination of factors at work.  

• Alignment, going beyond the surface to establish a shared understanding of the why and how, common objectives and desired outcomes clarifying the what and where.  It means we operate from a unified perspective. 

• A collective approach.

• A deep sense of connection with a healthy respect and appreciation for each other's perspectives, expertise, beliefs and strengths.

• And implicit understanding that team success is prioritised over the individual, whilst valuing the individual.  Individual needs are considered within the broader context of the team's goals.

• A quiet and powerful acceptance that intentions are good, and individuals approach the dialogue with positive intent.  Essentially building goodwill among each other.  

• A genuine desire to appreciate what others contribute and a willingness to support their growth and development beyond their own expectations of success.

• There is acceptance that open robust transparent discussions are pathways to positive outcomes, which enhance trust and confidence.  Therefore leaving nothing unsaid and being clear with what we are communicating, rather than being ambiguous or or evasive, which are unhelpful approaches.  

When hard conversations become exponentially more difficult, I witness, and experience disconnection, misalignment and misunderstandings.

People drift away from collective understanding to individual agendas and selfless pursuit of excellence may be traded for selfish pursuit of success.  As this dynamic unfolds, judgement becomes rife giving rise to shame, which results in searching for the nearest exit to avoid uncomfortable interactions.  And, truth telling and candid dialogue are overshadowed by a tendency to skirt around issues, rely on inuendo and indirect references versus addressing the core of the matter at hand.

So what’s the work of leaders? Apart from adopting tools like PeopleQ's 5I's to prepare for these dialogues, also consider creating the right relationship climate by;

🔢Getting on the same page with your team, what's important, whats the objective and why

🔢Cultivating and building a deep sense of connection

🔢Defining your purpose, and gaining clarity on your legacy to anchor to in these moments

🔢Adopt, and practice language that doesn't place others into a defensive state, amp up EQ + Trust

🔢Be open and fluid, supporting the growth of others.

🔢Practice communicating with clarity and avoid ambiguity

Connect with us for a coffee chat on how we can support you build your approach for challenging conversations.